


Selfish Wishes

by kickingflowers



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Cares About Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, even if he doesn't say it, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickingflowers/pseuds/kickingflowers
Summary: Jaskier was human and as sad as it was, there was no way he was ever going to live as long as Geralt was. But, he was selfish; so, more than anything, he wanted to leave his mark on Geralt's life because Jaskier, also like many humans, feared being forgotten after his bit the dust.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Selfish Wishes

Jaskier was selfish. He wasn’t afraid to admit it. Most of the time, he knew what he wanted and he usually was stubborn enough to get it. This was just another one of those situations. 

Traveling with the mighty Witcher, Geralt of Rivia admittedly hadn’t been in the books, but this was an opportunity of a lifetime and he was going to grab onto it with everything that he had. It was common knowledge that Witchers lived very long lives and that most of it was spent fighting monsters. And Geralt of Rivia, was one of the more well-known ones, with his white hair being a trademark signature that seemed to stick into people’s minds. When Jaskier had been singing in Posada one of his first long trips as a bard, having freshly graduated Oxenfurt shortly before, he knew the moment that he laid eyes on the hulking mass brooding in the corner, trying desperately to meld into the walls of the frankly nasty tavern, that the man would have many stories to tell and decided that he was going to wrench it out of the man no matter what. 

That had been the start of this grand adventure. Well for him it was a grand adventure, traveling with a Witcher, getting to witness, first-hand, the monsters, the bravery, heroics that many of recorded songs in Oxenfurt were about. By tagging along with Geralt he would be able to write and sing better songs than any of those in the heavy tomes in Oxenfurt, he was going to make a lasting impression that only the greatest of bards were able to manage. 

But, then it had turned into something else. At first it had been for purely selfish reasons that Jaskier had tagged along with Geralt, but as the time passed and two months turned to six and then a year and then five. He hadn’t realized that his goal had changed. While he did indeed still want to be a renown bard, whose songs would be song long after he, himself had gone; he also wanted to leave his mark on Geralt’s life. 

Over their many adventures together, sometimes, when Jaskier managed to get them to set camp early and thus had a lull in activity before bed, Geralt talked. At first, it had been like pulling teeth and the moment Jaskier tried to show interest or ask for more, Geralt had clammed up. However, slowly but surely, Geralt talked about his life and his past, and Jaskier learned the best way to keep him talking was to stay quiet. Jaskier also learned that Geralt, having lived as long as he had: forgot. There were gaps in his memory, whether that was because Geralt would rather not remember or because it wasn’t important to him, Geralt forgot. And usually, if it didn’t have to do with his work, Geralt was likely to forget it. And something about that nagged at Jaskier. 

It wasn’t until he was chased away by Geralt that he realized what it was that nagged at him about Geralt’s forgetfulness. In the same way that he wanted to be remembered for his songs, long after he was gone, he wanted to leave a mark on Geralt’s life. He realized that he, like most humans with short, fleeting, insignificant lives, that more than anything, he feared being forgotten. That was in part why he had decided to become a bard and left his home. He knew that one day his house, his family, and his kingdom would be forgotten and his name lost to time, but if he was a bard and he was good enough then he might be able to live on in his songs. But, this fear, this dread, at the realization that Geralt would live long after he did and he would definitely forget someone like Jaskier was greater than any fear that he had felt before. 

He realized that this fear he had felt was in part, why he had followed Geralt around for so long. He thought that maybe if he was enough of a constant presence, that Geralt would remember him when he inevitably met his end. He realized that perhaps that was a bit cruel, that he wanted to have Geralt think about him when he was dead, but Jaskier was selfish. He knew that when push came to shove, Geralt would live for so long after Jaskier that the time the bard traveled by his side would just become nothing more than a blip. And that one day, Geralt would wake up and not remember Jaskier’s existence. So, yes it could be selfish and cruel, but if it was just for a little bit Jaskier would like if Geralt would think about him after he was pushing daises. 

After all, Geralt wouldn’t be alone. Despite his deep brooding and penchant for being isolated, there were people who cared about him. He remembered Geralt’s stories about the other Witchers that Geralt had grown up with: his brothers. He also had… Yennefer. She would live just as long as Geralt would, if not, longer. She would be around for Geralt even if they did have an on-and-off relationship. And of course, there would surely be others who would support Geralt, Jaskier had worked very hard to improve the White Wolf’s image and reputation and he had succeeded for the most part. More people were looking at Geralt and surely down the line there would be people that Geralt would call friends and lovers. His world didn’t only have Jaskier in it, so even if it was a bit cruel to have Geralt think about him and his death, Geralt would move on quite easily Jaskier assured. 

But, now there was no chance of that coming true. Geralt would likely forget him, perhaps wipe the bard out of his mind even before Jaskier grew grey.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a manga I read.


End file.
